It has been a while that I have not been updating this blog. Berhabuk! uhuk uhuk...
A rainy day since the early hours of today until at the moment I'm updating this.
Activities today was filled with the routine of solat subuh followed by continuing 4 pages of Surah Hijr and getting ready for work.
It's wednesday today, so as usual Tuesdays to Thursdays will be my responsibility to send my nephew to college before arriving at my workplace. Raining heavily and everywhere is flooding but everything had to go on as usual, including teaching.
Being an education officer means, my duties are not only doing the routine teaching, educating and disciplining the students, I had to also be on stand-by mode to help prepare relief for teachers who are absent and making sure that everything is in order. That includes ensuring teachers enter their classes according to schedule, entertaining parents and teachers who needs assistance as well as our superiors. More or less, that is called the administrative duties. That is our routine, especially for the senior teachers like myself.
I had to leave school early today as I had to go to the ministry to do some official duties and responsibilities in one of the departments there. Finished my work around 4.15 p.m. I had coffee with one senior officer at the department. We talked about food, she loves cooking and shared some recipe. It was raining outside and she asked me if I'm going to be okay driving back. I told her it's going to be fine inshaALLAH I should be arriving in my hometown around 7 pm. She asked where I'd stop for solat and I told her that I would stop in one of the masjid halfway between the two districts before getting home.
Then she asked me about myself, am I married, my age and if I have someone already. Well, a tough question! I smiled and told her, I'm 38 years old and not married yet. InshaAllah there will be someone out there for me. I had to put up a smile though inside it was a really awkward feeling talking to someone who you deal with professionally being a senior I wasn't aware that I was opening up to her.
Tried to calm down, I just looked at the table and not to face her. Suddenly I felt that was not proper to address the officer in that manner. So I just smiled and reassure myself to not get carried away. She advised me to find a suitable partner for life, make sure that man will be able to take care of me and that the importance of getting zuriat for your future who will then make doa for me and take care of my well-being in the future. Those words she uttered made me silent and think hard...
This is what I always need for myself and to complete half of my Deen.. InshaAllah... but no matter how hard I tried, it will always Allah who will decide who that man will be. Who you are? where you are? When we will meet? Wallahu'alam.. I have no answer to that... I believe that Allah has prepared someone for me and one day those questions will be answered.
As I was driving back I tried not to think about what she said to me and focussed on driving. Only when I arrived and after performing solat asar then those feelings retrieved back leaving me in tears in my doa. Ya Allah... Rabbana hablana min azwajina wa dzurriyatina qurata a'yun waj'alna lil muttaqiina imaama... Aamiin...
My doa always includes you... my future husband... wishing that he is a man who has been waiting for me, who understands me for who I am, who cares for me because of Allah and who wants to marry me because of Allah and accepts me because of my deen. InshaAllah...
